Marriage 101. Happy House, Happy Spouse.

AsI sit here spending the evening with my husband I can't help but think about how great of a team we are together. The rule in our house is that whoever gets home first is in charge of dinner and cleanup. James puts out the trashcan and I pull it up the driveway. I'm in charge of paying the bills and dealing with people, but if it's something that doesn't require social interaction then James handles it. If I'm being completely honest James handles 90% of the houseload because of the demand of my job. James has been with me the entire time I've been an athletic trainer. From a student athletic trainer at Baylor to being the Head Athletic Trainer at Denison, James has always been the constant calm to my storm. Taking care of the house and dogs is a big help when it comes down to the long hours and dealing with kids.

When people ask how long James and I have been married and we say "Almost 4 years" they are quick to say "Ahh I miss the honeymoon phase." Now because we've been married for a short time I don't know that we are in this phase or if we have just mastered what works for us. I can 100% attest to the following:

Marriage is putting on your spouse's favorite music or podcast on a long drive. James and I have very different tastes in music. He will put up with my top hit music but when I play my "trap" music, he gets a little lost. He will even enterain my Tejano playlist and is a big Selena fan. I spend most of the drive seranading him before I pass out. If we are both awake we are probably listening to True Crime podcasts, we use these for our long drives. BUT if James is driving and I need to nap I play his podcast selection. It's super weird IMO but he enjoys it and he is a trooper when it comes to doing 100% of the driving lol. If we are both awake and want to jam out together we either listen to Disney or an 80s Top Hits playlist.

Marriage is always saying "YES" to a random adventure. I can't tell you how many times (especially after I promise to stop spending money) that I come up with something to do and James is ready. Sometimes it's a sporting event (most of the time)and sometimes I find something random that James is into and we plan a date night. Last week we stayed out past our "Bedtime" to watch Spiderman No Way Home, it makes me happy to go to those things for James because 80% of the time we are watching some sort of sport, especially during football season. Anyways the point of this is NEVER STOP DATING each other. Right now James and I don't have kids so we aren't really "getting away" from other people. But date nights are our chance to "get away" from work. Sometimes date night is a nice dinner and binge watching a show. Sometimes it's a day in Dallas finding an adventure. Sometimes we share our date nights with other couples and have a blast. I defintely want to spend more time in 2022 hanging out with our friends.

Marriage is not always pretty. Everyone has their disagreements but it doesn't have to be a make it or break. Marriage is about compromise, and making each other happy. Marriage is not ultimatums or twisting of the arm. James and I have our share of disagreements, mostly because I have a temper and usually over something dumb. However, we never go to bed mad at each other and we resolve our problem (sometimes it takes hours) usually of silence, but it's how we find our way.

Marriage is putting each other above anyone else. Family is important to us but when it comes to standing up for each other that is our priority. We have had our share of family struggle but it has made our bond together stronger. There is nothing that we won't do for the other, even if it means cutting people out of our lives completely. When we got married we became ONE, and we don't tolerate any disrespect from anyone. So if you are in a serious relationship, engaged, or even married. Make sure that you are number one to your partner. I'm not saying they have to cut off family for this to happen, but make sure that if their family disrespects you that your partner will have your back and always has your best interest in mind.

Marriage is about creating memories and stepping out of your comfort zone. My favorite memories together are our trips. In the last few years James and I have traveled to several states. It is so much fun taking on bigger adventures together. From navigating the busy subways in NYC to beach surfing in San Diego, everything has been a true adventure. I am excited to take our travel to the next step and go somewehre international. That is on the list for 2022.

Marriage is learning each other's interests. Some people may not know that James didn't know anything about sports when we first got together. However, he knew that my world revolves around sport so he put in the effort to learn and now we enjoy watching sports together. I love that we can watch football Thursday, Friday, all day Saturday and Sunday, and Monday. Before I met James I had never seen a Star Wars movie. So I got a moviecation and when the new movies came out I made sure that we watched them on the night of the premire. I even deal with people clapping in the movie theater!! Is Star Wars my favorite? Nope, but it makes him happy so I do it, and I honestly enjoy the movies. He is also a big Marvel fan, lucky for him I am too so that's an easy fix.

Marriage is knowing how each other cope with a bad/stressful day. If James has a long day he needs a beer and video games. This means I handle dinner and keep the dogs preoccupied. If I'm having a day James handles dinner (usually means picking up Texas Roadhouse) and charges up my iPad so I can color and watch my favorite shows. We learned to stop taking out our moods on each other and simply just communicate whats going on. There's another tip ask about each other's day and listen to each other! Put the phone down, turn off the TV, and be in the moment.

Our marriage ranges from 50/50, 80/20, 20/80, etc. Sometimes James picks up most of the load. Sometimes I have to. Through it all we work with each other to find the balance. So if you're in a relationship right now, take the time to learn your spouse. Find out what they like, what they don't. Make time to do the small things. James loves the mini-Marvel series that comes out and I know he enjoys to keep me up to date so I watch with him. Make time to travel and experience new things together. From one person to another your relationship is tested when it comes to travel so might as well try it. Nothing like saying your marriage is invincible like spending 17+ hours in a car together driving across the states. Don't let other people's relationship define yours. If you are happy and your spouse is happy then don't let people change your point of view.

It's not happy wife, happy life. It's happy spouse, happy house. I am thankful for my husband every day! I can't wait to see what adventure lies ahead.