A Loaded Topic

So a lot of people have start New Year's resolutions or intentions. One of mine was to actually spend time on this blog, limiting the amount of time spent scrolling on my social media networks, and reading books. 2020 taught me to slow down, a lot of the time as an athletic trainer it's always go go go. My life revolves around sports, so when sports were shut down due to the pandemic I was literally forced to slow down. I turned to books and educational opportunities. My goal was to read at least 1 book per shift and with 12 hours to spare it was actually pretty easy. I finished all the John Grisham books, sports biographies, and started the Sweet Magnolia Series that was inspired the Netflix show.

During my research of good reads and on an athletic training group page I saw a lot of colleagues reading "What Made Maddy Run" I knew there was a good message from the book but as I found myself reading the introduction I had no idea how heavy the message was.

The book talks about a relatively understudied topic, Mental Health. Specifically in college freshman, but a more vulnerable population, freshman student athlete. Talk about change, some kids go states away for a sport they love not knowing the true workload of what it takes to play at that level on top of keeping up with coursework.

For those of you who have any college background you know that college is very different compared to high school. You don't have class all day. Professors leave a lot of responsibility to you, note taking, test preparedness, attendance, grade checks. Students are responsible for keeping themselves accountable when completing coursework and reporting to class. The books are thick, the material is loaded, it's not an easy task. Now to increase the load add the life of a student athlete who is required to make meetings, report to weight workouts, team practice, treatment, etc. For the sake of this I will be discussing things I have seen at a Division 1 program.

Most athletes who aspire to play at the next level see the fun side of things. The gear, high profile games, recognition, glory. What they don't see is the mandatory 5am conditioning/weightroom workouts before class, early class schedule to ensure that they are able to be done before practice, the film session/meetings before practice, and then finding time for treatment/recovery. Nutrition is regulated by the school with meal time windows and then later meetings. Add in tutoring time for school work and it almost seems like there is not enough hours of the day. I remember spring days looking like this, this was my schedule,

4AM show up to setup/prepare for morning workout. Would usually end around 7-7:30

7:30-9am Treatment

9am-1pm class

2pm- Report to setup/prepare for practice. (I would get out of class around 1:10pm and have to walk about 15-20min home, I live about 10 mins from Highers so that left me 15-20min to decompress/eat/change and get to practice

Practice ended around 5pm after breakdown we were done close to 6pm

Night meetings for team until about 7:30

Night treatment until 9pm, and then go all over again.

The main difference bewteen my schedule and the student athletes is one I wasn't completing the workouts. I still had a classload of work on top of the hours, and the athletes also had coursework on top of these schedules. Therefore making it harder when traveling and missing days.

My point in sharing this information is that it takes a lot of toll on a student athlete, especially a freshman who is introduced to so much change. There is literally no way to prepare for this transition and up until recently there were not a lot of resources for mental health. In this category we are speaking of depression, anxiety, and other conditions. Depression is a big one, and the third leading cause of death among the college population is suicide.

Maddy's story talks about the difficulties that she struggled with as a freshman student athlete. Now this is not saying that all student athletes are going to go down this path, this is not saying that you have to be an athlete to study with mental health, everyone adjusts differently. BUT this is something that isn't always talked about and as a senior in high school I didn't think of the overwhelming change that came with going to school 5 hours away.

I am from a tiny tiny town in West Texas. Baylor had more students in their freshman class than I had in my whole town. August 2013 was a trying time for me. I thought that going to college 5 hours away was the best idea, however I didn't consider the fear of not being close to family and friends or the changes that came with going to a big school. After two weeks I was ready to go home, I didn't think this was the spot for me and I let other factors weigh heavier than they should of and I left. None of the girls in my hall understood what I was going through and I was ashamed to admit that I was in over my head. Mind you this is only after 2 weeks of school. This was before I had a demanding schedule.

In the book What Made Maddy Run it talks about how she started to dread something that she used to love doing. In college you aren't just going to one practice a day, its 2 workouts a day, extra skill work to earn a spot, coursework, and other demands. It's easy to lose yourself and your identity. Again this is not to discourage anyone, but there is a lot more to being a student athlete at the collegiate level.

I am writing this to bring awareness to a growing issue, mental health is a real thing. It is important that we are not judgemental to someone who may be struggling mentally. Everything in the book talked about that if you would have looked at Maddy's social media pages she appeared to be perfectly normal and happy. Now this is not saying that someone should be dark and decieving but you get the picture. Mental health conditions can take a toll on anyone even "happy" people.

I will admit that I have had my share of battles with my mental health. I would say that I could never have a breakdown because it takes a lot to bring me down. 2020 showed me that I am not immune to this. I have had my fair share of breakdown and breakthrough moments this past year than I have in my life. So this is also to bring to light that mental health can effect you at any point in your life. I would describe the feeling as appearing trapped or lacking motivation to do something that you love. It's been an ongoing battle.

This year I want to spend more time doing research on how to help others deal and cope with mental health conditions and I would like to help my athletes learn transitions to all the change that comes with college preparation.

Remember that it is okay to struggle, not have all the answers, and to fail. Talk to someone if there is something that you want to share. Use your advocates. For those who aren't dealing with the same battles, check on your friends/family happy or not, be an advocate or a listener for someone. You never know how a simple message could be life changing for someone else.

It's okay to not be okay, but don't be afraid to talk to someone about it.

If you are looking for a good read, check out the book. It's eye opening.