Adapt and Overcome Breaking the Silence
- ccbowers23
- Jun 7, 2020
- 8 min read
From the outside looking in or without being close to someone you are in the dark about what a person had to go through to be in the position that they are in. We've all heard the saying that it's easy to slap a smile on your face and keep going but how much do we really know about what goes on behind closed doors? With everything that is going on it's hard to not be open about some of the adversity faced. Racism, sexism, and prejudice towards religion. Oppression is a very real occurrence in the world today and it's time to break the silence.
I live by the phrase Adapt and Overcome, and this mentality is the reason that I'm in the position that I'm in today.
Back in high school it was easy to make good grades, I graduated in the Top 10 of my class and had my pick of schools. When I was looking at UT-Austin and Baylor my high school counselor discouraged me. She harped on how much money it was and that I should focus on more affordable options. I didn't realize the assumptions she was making about my family, or about our financial stability. I'm not saying she didn't have my best interest in mind and she was not kidding about how expensive those schools were, but she was adamant that I would not make it at Baylor. I don't think my friends were discouraged about their choice of school, but I was determined to prove her wrong. Despite her advice I was accepted and enrolled for Baylor in the Fall of 2013. I thought I was ready for the adult world and I was quickly put in my place.
When I arrived at Baylor it was not what I thought it was and decided to leave and pursue options closer to home, bet my counselor laughed when she was right haha. I started working at Walmart and babysat my Goddaughter Ry'Anne. It wasn't a bad gig and I learned a lot of lessons. One in particular was that I wasn't meant to stay around my small hometown I needed to try again, and that meant another shot at going to Baylor. I enrolled in spring courses and re-enrolled for Baylor in the fall. The program I applied for didn't offer intro-courses in the fall so I chose to wait until Fall 2014 to head back. This time I prepared myself for another chance. By achieving a 4.0 in my spring courses I set myself up to get a bigger grant and scholarship and paid little out of pocket throughout my four years, so the break ended up being beneficial in the long run. I also transferred from Walmart to Sam's so I also had a job lined up and a more reliable car. Everything was in motion.
My freshman year were introductory courses for the athletic training program and in the Spring of 2015 I started my observations, working full time, school full time, and then observation hours were tough to handle at once but the reward was worth it. I was accepted into Baylor's Athletic Training program in May 2015. I found out the day I drove home and unfortunately just wrecked my mom's car and broke my ribs. Luckily I had the summer to recover and began my athletic training duties in the fall.
My time at Baylor was enjoyable. The biggest adaptations that were made included the change of teams from semester to semester. It seemed like you would finally know the team and know the whole system about the time it was time to switch for the semester again. It was tough but the memories were definitely worth it.
Another setback came in the Fall of 2015 when I dislocated my elbow in a car accident and had to have a surgical repair. To top things off it was my right and dominant hand. I learned how to do everything with one hand and learned how to tape and write with my left hand. This adaptation took a while but after about 4 months I was out of the brace. A year and a half later due to the extension lag (inability to straighten my arm out all the way) I had to have a release surgery to make my arm more functional. To this day I still can't straighten my arm all the way but it does not prevent me from doing anything functionally.
The biggest Adapt and Overcome moment came from being with James. In the beginning both of our families appeared to be happy for us. Over time as things got more serious his side of the family became more distant. It's no secret that they are more conservative than mine which came at a price for us and things were not easy. The difference in religion was something they couldn't see past and for awhile it weighed down heavily on our relationship. We didn't fight but it hurt knowing that there were people close to us essentially rooting against us or making it appear that it would not work because we were different religions. My family is super close and have always been supportive even when they didn't agree with all our decisions. As long as we were happy they were happy. The way it should be right? Parents worry but my parents let us make our own choices and we had to deal with whatever consequences. All they cared about was my happiness and if James treated me right which he obviously did.
When James first introduced me to his parents it was via Skype and the first thing they asked once they saw me was something to do with being Catholic. At the time I didn't think much of it because Mexicans or Hispanics are typically of the Catholic faith, but as we started facing difficulty with religion I realized the issue. And I honestly don't see why it's a big deal because I don't disagree with other religions, I attended Bible school at a variety of churches, had friends that attended different churches; to me religion didn't mean I couldn't date or be friends with them, so when the issue of difference of religion came into the picture I didn't know how to react to the opposition.
I was raised Catholic and James was raised Baptist. When James and I met he was attending a non-denominational church off and on while I attended a Catholic church regularly. In the beginning of our relationship we would alternate between both churches.Nobody knows that James and I ventured from our religions altogether. We considered Methodist, and non-denominational approaches. We attended an Anglican church for awhile it was a different experience for sure. We felt pressured to reach a compromise since it seemed unheard of that Catholic and Baptists could get married. It was so unnerving that we were being compared to other couples and their marriage outcomes who were in similar positions. We were basically constantly told on one end that we would not work as a Baptist-Catholic couple and we needed to pick a side. James and I obviously had the talks about the differences of our religions and I was able to answer all his questions regarding the Saints, Virgin Mary, Pope, etc. Of course all his questions were concerned with the stereotypes of the faith and once he realized the explanation he understood more. James decided that the wanted to start attending one church regularly because he wanted unity among our future family, he chose to attend the Catholic church with me. I explained to him that I was open to a compromise as long as it was solely our decision with no outside influence. At the end of the day we decided to follow our hearts and refused to let anything get in the way and we chose to be members of the Catholic church. We started attending mass together every Sunday. James and I agreed early on that we would raise the kids Catholic and allow them to choose their path when they got older. For those of you who don't know the process is difficult as an adult so by allowing the kids to complete their sacraments it would make it easier for them in the future if they decided to stay with their faith. We are not opposed to other religions and plan to educate our kids properly on the differences and not discouraging other paths if our children decided they wanted to experience something different, although we want them to be Catholics we will love them no matter what path they choose. James decided when we moved to Tyler that he was going to covert to Catholicism and this came at a price. We knew his parents would be against his choice as it had been implied to us time and time again, but it wasn't about making them happy it was about doing right by us and by God. James almost completed everything before the whole COVID thing got in the way of plans. Once church goes back to normal he will be able to complete his sacraments and we will plan to get married through the church. Prior to completion of his sacraments we have to get our marriage validated through the Catholic church.
I never realized that stereotypes could be mistaken as racial bias or prejudice. When people assume that I'm Catholic because I'm Hispanic I don't take offense to it. When people ask me where I'm from I don't think anything of it. Because I was born and raised in Texas, as were my parents and grandparents. I was working a middle school game when a group of boys kept asking me where I was from and where my parents were from. They were shocked when I said I was born in the States as were my parents. Do I think they meant harm by this statement? Absolutely not, because I don't think they were raised to know the difference and that is where the problem is. The bias starts in the home without being exposed to different cultures or ways of life. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and not everyone is raised the same but the learning of integration starts in the home.
I've been asked if I was scared when Trump was elected because I'm Hispanic, and he wanted to build a wall to keep illegal immigrants out. I've been mocked when I don't like common Mexican dishes, because that's the food consumed by people of my culture.
I witnessed a supervisor openly make racial comments about a fellow Hispanic and he did not find anything wrong with it. I was offended for my friend even though the comments were not directed to me. But I didn't openly take a stand.
I mention these experiences because at the moment I didn't feel like I was looked at differently for the way I looked or what I believed in. But with everything going on I've realized that prejudice is very real and it's happening to people in different ways. No I'm not treated like other races and I'm not trying to take away from the movement because what is going on is not fair!! People should not be treated differently based on how they look or believe. We are entitled to same freedoms in this country.
So I'm breaking my silence to bring awareness, and to be a voice for people of minority. To be a voice against prejudice and to stop allowing it occur in my life. So if you are at all in disagreement to anything on here don't bother arguing just delete me and move on. I am no longer tolerating injustice or remaining silent.
Enough is enough.
Below are ways to bring more awareness and encourage education on diversity.
Stay educated! Treat others as you would want to be treated! Teach Love!
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